Pancake fight…

her opancakes and my pancakes

An unexpected pancake recipe knock-down drag-out:  I win by KO in round one.

One of my pet peeves is having to tweak supposedly true-and-tried recipes.  (What does true-and-tried mean to you, folks?  Yeah, me too.)

Our mornings can get a bit rushed to get Youngest Son on the little yellow bus on time and Hubby off to work even sooner, so I am always keeping my eyes peeled for quick and easy, true-and-tried, breakfast recipes.  Enter pancakes

One evening, I’m flipping through a certain very popular magazine and come to a screeching halt at a beautiful presentation.  This page is sporting a striking photograph of a certain stunning celebrity cook who is also a co-host of a certain popular cooking show.  Alongside the large picture of the beautiful chef-ette,  is a very small pancake recipe–only three ingredients, to be exact, and made in a blender!  Wow!  the answer to my morning rush hour breakfast dilemma, for sure!  Perfect!  Thank you, beautiful lady!  I will make these tomorrow!

Oh, and I know these will be delicious!  After all, The Beautiful Lady has written THREE cookbooks, so they MUST be good!  Right?  Ummm….. Let’s just say that my first clue should have been that the image was of The Beautiful Lady/Chef/Author and not of The Perfect Pancakes of Only Three Ingredients Made in a Blender. 

Early the next morning, I gleefully flomp the three ingredients (Wait!  No leavening?) in my blender and pour tidy pools onto my heated griddle.  Instantly, my morning cheer is cut down a few notches and a frown is brewing under my disappearing grin.  These things look a little too skinny–similar to The Beautiful Lady in the large picture.  Horrors!  Where is that happy little puffing-up thing pancakes do?  Where are the fat little bubbles that should begin to rise to the top, promising tenderness and fluff?  These miserable, gloomy splotches on my griddle are not working correctly.  They cling to the griddle in their shame and disgrace, and refuse to flip over willingly, but prefer to let themselves be torn and tattered!  VERY unpancake-like!  Something has gone horribly wrong!

Shame damaged pancakes

Surely I have messed up the cookbook-worthy recipe somehow, so I recheck it–The Beautiful Lady has THREE published cookbooks, remember?!  But, I have followed all instructions like an outstanding pupil!  Suddenly, the truth hits me: things that are too good to be true usually are.  No leavening?  Of course!  No picture of the recipe results?  Hel-looo!!  How could I have been so blind?!  Well, I have a photo now, folks, and it ain’t pretty!  Won’t these look fine alongside The Beautiful Lady of Three-Cookbooks fame!

Blender pancakes recipe flop

I am stunned…and so very disappointed in The Beautiful Lady.

The quiet of the peaceful kitchen is suddenly shattered by the sound of my own incredulous voice: “She’s written THREE cookbooks, and THIS is all she can come up with for pancakes??!!!!”  This proclamation is immediately followed by very loud and amused laughter from Hungry Hubby.  He finds this whole episode entertaining and funny!  As for me, I find no humor in it at all!

As those sorry little unleavened cakes lie shrinking in their shame, I take pity on their flat, shapeless little forms, and scurry to redeem their pancake self-esteem.  NO pancake deserves to be created like this!  Shame on you, Beautiful (Mean) Lady!  Pancakes must puff!  Quick!  Two leavenings to the rescue!  Pancakes must have some substance!  In goes some added flour!  A few more hastily-added emergency ingredients and my batter is now happily bubbling away on the griddle, puffing up to tender pancake perfection.

A happy pancake after recipe revision

I take one last disgusted look at the page with the large picture of The Beautiful (Traitor) Lady and the very small recipe alongside her, and I crumple it up with gusto and glee!  My smile returns freely as I flip the reborn, fluffy hotcakes onto the waiting plates of my crew.  They look very noble alongside the crispy bacon and scrambled eggs….breakfast bliss!

her opancakes and my pancakes

Whew!  Looks like we’ll still make the bus, Youngest Son!

Guess my dad was right–-just because a book is published, doesn’t mean it’s worth reading.  I’ll try to remember that in the future….

5 Comments

  1. Margaret

    Love how you write, Barbra!! When I first learned to make pancakes it didn’t matter that I used the right recipe, mine still looked like “hers” and it wouldn’t take them long to end up crispy as crackers if you left them out!!

    Reply
  2. Darla

    The shame! The horror! But your re-telling of the account was fabulous. The Beautiful Lady On The Ranch Saves The Day!

    Reply
  3. jlackman

    plus, we need YOUR recipe now…

    Reply
    1. The Jolly Rancher (Post author)

      jlackman–
      In my panic and frustration, I failed to write down the repairs I performed on this tragically deficient recipe, and I apologize. But, I have several good pancake recipes that I know work correctly, as well as satisfing both working folks’ stomachs, and a creative cook’s eye. Stay tuned for them in the future!
      Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  4. jlackman

    Is this “Pancake shaming”? LOL I was laughing off my chair reading this… My two ingredient pancake is pancake mix + water, but yours look much better!

    Reply

Leave a comment: